The Mumbaiyya Snack

Gheun takk

Long Long time ago in 1995 the cost of a single vada pav was 3rs and now in 2012 its 10 rs-12 rs depending on its hygienic quality (lol hygiene!! yah rite!!). Every six months the price of this snack rises by leaps and bounds. Some people use their undies more than that time frame (people who do must be smiling now). With prices rising everyday even Gandhiji’s picture on our currency will be crying very soon.

Nowadays the competition is not between the “Khan’s” it’s more between petrol and vada-pav. And the day is not far when even a vada-pav vendor will start accepting a credit card. That day eating our Mumbai’s favorite snack on Andheri stn made me realize that our lives are not so different than the vada-pav’s we eat. Like the kind of life the common man has is like the pav holding the vada. We come in tiles (as in Ek Ladi Pav) and are piled one above the other like always and the price rarely changes.

But this common pav tries very hard to hold it’s family, memories, experiences, friends, etc in the form of “vada” which has many things in it. Some succeed but some get torn trying to hold it together as long as they can. It’s not every day you find a place with that exact ingredients that made the perfect dish. So very much like us where we give our best to make it perfect for our world the “Vada” but fail sometimes due to reasons plenty. We give our best to cope it up by adding some chutney’s and fried mirchi’s to keep the blend close to perfect.

And our politicians come and take away a bite from it whenever they feel like it and we are the ones that have to deal with the consequences the most. The harder we try to hold, more of the pieces begin to fall and before you know; it’s an empty plate on your hands, like the role you were born for is over even without a mark in the world. But then again nature has always taught us to live life for others and not for our own, maybe that’s why there is Gandhi’s picture on our currency and not Vijay Mallya’s with two hot chicks in two piece on each side.

But what’s life without a little surprise so don’t be afraid to add a mirchi to your life.

EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT!!!!

Till next time Adios suckers!!!!! 

The B-right Side

The B-right Side

Hey everyone this is Morthu on 98.9 BF (blogging frequency yaar ) and I am here again to share with you an intriguing but a very obvious topic that was around the corner.

But more importantly today’s blog is dedicated to my beloved deceased son MITHU (he was my parrot since 8 years) who is no longer with me , will always miss him and no other parrot can ever take his spot. May MITHU be re-incarnated as a guy and date all the pretty hot chicks around as he got training from “The Master” himself…… hahahahaha

My recent observation was,

Would there be a bright side if you haven’t seen the dark one, it’s as simple as if there is a plus then there does exist a minus. Even life works according to Newton’s third law of motion but just a slightly different. In reality “for every action there is equal but the same reaction.”

            At some point in life comes a time when every action made by us is a reflection of a reaction from the past. No one can change that cause that itself is fate and every human is a slave of his own fate and no human has ever been successful in changing his fate and never can he!!!! But he can surely hold its hand and change it's direction a little bit wherever you want it to….

Don’t think the result of the step you take but always think about the action which will come back as a reaction in the future.

           “The Bright Side”, as we might compensate it with the loss or the bad part in a certain situation , is what we look back in time and say “what ever happens, happens for good.” So why not be bright all the time as everything bad we do has a bright side!

We are born and we die but what we do between the two events is what matters most…..

Also Happy Navratri to all my folks and may you have a good navratri without any broken fingers and police cases if eve teased a girl during dance.

Till next time  Sannedo   Sannedo   Sannedo   Laaal    Sannedoooooooooo….

Karein bhi toh kya 2

           Are bhai Karein Bhi toh Kyaaaaaaaaa 

On a special request from a friend I have come back to finish what I had started, where the life of guys here already is hell but still we manage to move ahead with a smile on our face  hahaaha…..

Confusion no.4-     What Women actually Want!!

Basic line women don’t really know what they want and are always confused about their choices and will take hell lot of time in choosing which will the turn out to be the wrong choice. If a guy can make a Woman understand what she wants, he deserves to be the Owner of Apple Inc. or govern a continent in dictatorship. Because women will always focus on what they want and not on what they really need.

Confusion no.5-     Honesty is not the best policy !!

Don’t ever think honesty with women will get you more space or self satisfaction, your relationship will get screwed even more. If she asks you if she is hotter than a girl you both just saw your answer should be “no” because if you try to be smart and give a tricky answer you will have scars on your face before you know it. I’m not saying that you should lie all the time but yeah you are allowed to twist and turn facts for smooth flow of relationship.

Confusion no.6-    Reaction of the action

The most dangerous thing about women is that they listen half, understand quarter, think zero, react double and remember it forever and ever. Even the tiniest of the detail that you think is nothing is the spark of the big bang. Initially the reaction would be normal then slowly you will start seeing the dark side of her and on the other hand you will be thinking what the hell I have said wrong. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction but in this case every action has a double and humongous reaction.

Special note

But they are God’s finest creation and I have no doubt in that. Everyone has flaws and men are even worse than women and that’s how the world is in balance because if they come down to our level then world will end for sure. And I’m not saying this so that anyone of female readers would not hit me when they meet me but I’m saying this because I know it and I mean it…..

Next week will be back with something really interesting till then 

Adios Suckerrrrrrrrrr

Karien bhi toh Kya

THE BIG BANG

Hello Mumbai this is BJ(blogging jockey) Morthu on your favorite channel 98.9 “ Hum hai Bombaiyya” aur aaj hum aisa topic laaye hain jo Satyamev Jayate bhi nahin solve kar sakta…. suck on that Aamir....

The world came into existence with the big bang and ended the moment “ADAM” met “EVE”. The biggest mystery after the universe and the Bermuda Triangle is how women think when it comes to the opposite sex and the only word that comes to my mind is “confused”. This in daily life starts with shopping of basic things like implants to complicated things like guys and lipsticks. Females are confused within themselves as it is which then leads to further confusion with other guys(mainly single).

Confusion no.1- They are pretty good drivers!!!!

Hahaha I just gave joke of the day. No offense, but seriously you all cannot drive or else there would be a same F1 with equal stature only the race would never finish as there would be no women alive to race. Good part is that there are no women in government public service, or else they would flip a whole train filled with people because the puppy on the tracks was “cho-chweet”. Next time you are in vehicle and a female honks horn to overtake then “just do it” or else you would see the wrath of god in the worst possible way.

Confusion no.2- The misconception.

Men usually think that most women are attracted to cars and bike but they don’t know anything about any of the stuff mentioned above. If you say you own a Mustang she will give you a surprised look like you mentioned a new planet in the solar system. And bikes, the only bike they know is KARIZMA. Also they wear such tight clothes flaunting their figures and then expect guys to notice their emotions.

Confusion no.3- The status.

This is where most males are stuck as they don’t know whether a girl is single, married, married but wants extra marital affair, likes two timing, just wants to have fun, etc. I am not saying that girls should walk around with a board around the neck displaying the relationship status but I’m saying that all of them should have a system in which it would be easier to say which is which. Guys have enough problem as it is beginning from the morning the moment we wake up. So establish a system where next time a guy is on a train door he would know which girls are interested and which aren’t.

Next week confusion no. 4, 5, 6  so hold on to your crotches “I’ll be back”

  

The Digital World....

Life is too short to waste you know, yesterday I was thinking that when I was a kid I used to be very happy about public holidays and major festivals but now when you grow up you then realize that these holidays are “DRY DAYS”. And the worst is when a public holiday falls on a Sunday when it's holiday as it is and on top of that it’s a “DRY DAY”.

As I was saying it’s too short to waste your life especially after social networking sites spending every minute of your day and night (for some hopeless schmucks) as they are all the MECCA for research and development teams. Every status you “like”, every movie review you put as status, every picture you comment on, almost every like and dislikes are been used by big companies as insights to market their product more efficiently.

For example it’s Valentine’s and a guy uploads status “help me!!!!What should I gift my girlfriend?”  and his friend Rohan says “how about a ideal date with pick-up service, cake, wine, etc?” which is then used  by some travel company to send you mails about cheap packages for specially on valentines. Then some other schmucks “like” it and the mail goes to them too even if they have an inflatable girlfriend hidden behind the sofa. Every single detail is collected by them and then used against us. Also bad habits are always addictive like the ones we have with these sites...

Even the pictures we take and if “by chance” or “god’s grace” the picture is really nice it automatically becomes our profile picture. But we always remember the moments whose pictures are not taken are really funny and remembered while we are awaiting death…

This social network world is just a big cycle which then comes around and bites us is the ass by buying something really expensive with nothing in it. The day is not far when kindergarten students will upload their status in schools as “yo bro chillin in school” or “mom Tiffin box was really tasty LOL” or “miss rosy is so damn hot dude” even the principal will “like” that probably.

So the what I am trying to say here is that life is shorter than you can even imagine it, don’t waste your time in breaking your neck every minute instead do something really stupid because that’s the thing you will always remember like yesterday I was troubling a cow by shaking her horns and annoying her and I know that’s wrong and dangerous because I could loose my virginity from behind first instead of the other way around but it was really funny watching the annoyed cow and named her “Garam Gaaaiii”

So life is full of surprises only if you let life surprise you then THOU shall have the pleasure of dying with a smile on your face which even the richest of the people don’t get.

Agle hafte hum fir lautenge ek sansani naye topic ke saath, tab tak ke liye alvida, shabba khair, good bye, aaaav jo.

Cheers everyone and let’s make every moment count.

Have anything to adddddd???

Bhagam Bhaag

LIVE LIVE LIVE!!!!!!

When was the last time we ever woke up on a Monday morning, looked in the mirror and said “Now that’s a Rockstar” because Monday mornings are usually so boring and hectic because there are more five days for the weekend. No don’t worry I am not going to bore you with boring talks because I am no Robin Sharma and I don’t  wish to go bald myself. I am writing this not to highlight why living in Mumbai is bad but it’s about how we can improve it.

No I don’t mean yoga or dieting or even start supporting a cause because frankly middle class people don’t have time or the money for it. I am just telling you to take a look around when you are going somewhere and notice the smallest of the nice things (I don’t mean a cute girl with small B**bs)like today I saw a feather for five mins and I swear it couldn’t touch the ground as the street was busy with riks, bikes, etc, Or the despo uncles in groups in trains we overhear talking about how amazing their sex lives are while they make jokes about it but deep inside we pity them for “rubbing the chirag” alone even after getting married.

We are mechanically designed to just see the negative in everything aren’t we? But when you start noticing the world more carefully you will find it very funny and amusing though it’s roughness.

Try this next time you are alone and getting bored in a public place, go near someone who is talking loudly and remove your phone and respond to everything he says loudly and try to make it look like you are on the other end of that fellow’s phone, don’t worry about a fight cause he is now more scared you than you of him.

The life in Mumbai is amazing and exciting only if you try it to make it amazing or else you will keep working for years and years and have a handful of memories on your deathbed.

CHEEEEEEEERS!!!!! To making each day count and living every moment so that you have a great life!

In my next visit I will tell you some interesting facts about the social world that are unknown by most of us.

Till then, Stay Tuned we will be right back after a short break.